Impending Doom

Ello all!

Ah winter time! Sitting by the fireplace, soaking up the warmth, listening to crackling wood, while holding a steaming hot cup of coco in your hands, in perfect contentment. Not.

I hate winter. Worst season of them all. One day its freezing cold and the next day we are inundated with torrential rain. The day after that, its freezing cold AND my backyard turns into a freaking wetland. Nice.

That's not the worst of it though. All the other seasons are kind to me... well not really, lets just say kinder. The summer heat isn't bad, great time to run and dance and frolic and eat puppies. In spring, everything is fresh, new, lush and green. Perfect weather for eating outdoors...mmmm puppy fillet mignon. Well...i think you can already guess what I'm going to say for autumn...

BUT NO PUPPY EATING FOR WINTER! Oh no, no sweet bone-snapping goodness then. Winter is the season of DEATH....or more accurately, the season of getting so sick that you end up bed ridden for days.

Especially this year.

'But Peter! You get sick because you don't keep warm!' You might chide, shaking your head.

Well i suppose you are right. But can it really be my fault? Australia is a free country! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CANT A MAN RUN BUTT-NAKED IN FREEZING RAIN AND NOT GET A COLD!!??!?

No I'm not serious of course, its partially because i do my forms in freezing cold weather at martial arts.

But mainly, its because of an excruciatingly irritating mortal who goes by the name of Xingy(for those who don't know this creature, DONT PANIC! I'm sure he will pop up somewhere in my future rants). Yes, he has this tendency to cough in my general vicinity, now and then....every second or two...bloody bastard.

And so the expected happens. I get sick. Really sick. Fever hits forty degrees and beyond. And, so i get dragged to my doctor who tells me i have the flu. I guessed as much. And so i head home to rest and groan and moan and feel sorry for myself. Strange enough...FEVER GETS BLOODY WORSE...and delirium kicks in. Have you ever noticed how amusing a bar of soap is when your delirious?

I get dragged back to the doctor. Who looks at me, shivering and borderline seizing, and says 'Oh looks like you have caught another flu'. Wow...ok so i have flu^2 now...

And i go home for the second time...and Mr.Flu gives me a kick in the crotch. Back to the doctor.

He takes one look at me, "Oh dear, this is bad".
I'm rushed off to get X-rayed. Yay.
He takes one look at the X-rays, "Oh dear, your lung tissue has lesions and there is some calcification."
His report: Possible tuberculosis & early emphysema.
Nice. I'm going to die.
Pete is rushed to hospital.
Specialist takes one look at report, shifts his attention to me and then, to the x-rays. He smirks.
"This report is absolute nonsense. Your lungs are fine. That lesion there [points to white area on x-ray] is your heart."

oh that's really nice...I'm not going to die after all. Meh.

Bloody incompetent GP....

The smell of the lambs...

Do you smell the lambs Peter? Their overly spiced aroma? Do you hear them sizzling? Day after day after day you wake to see them bubbling in their own fat...

YES I FREAKING DO, Dr Lecter! My dad chucked another overkill... This is more or less how it goes...

*flashback*

"Hey dad"

"Yes son?"

"You know what would be good for dinner?"

"What?"

"A nice piece of lamb"

"Oh sounds good. I'll just go out and buy some then."

"Not too much though dad, im not too hungry. A steak or two should be enough"

"Oh yeah, ok then. A steak or two it is"

"Great dad! Thanks..."

2 HOURS LATER....

" Where the hell is dad?!?!"

"Hello Peter, im back"

"Oh great, what took you so long"

"Oh the lamb was on sale... Here have a look"

"...WHOAAAAHH!!!! Thats not two steaks!!! Thats 1....2...3...3kg...3KG!!!!"

"Yeah good value eh?"

"HOW AM I MEANT TO FINISH THAT"

"Oh dont worry peter, there is a bone in each of the steaks...its probably just 2.5kg of meat"

"Arrrrrghh!!!!"

*end flashback*

And so here i am.... a week has passed...after lunch....stuffed full with lamb....god help me....

Ah Welcome all!

This is the beginning of my new blog....since my old one well...was left untouched, un-posted and generally neglected since...the beginning of this year (if i remember correctly). I have promised myself that i shall strive to at least do one post per week....

i highly doubt it though...

It is however getting late....and well I've been rather sick for the past month.....or two...or three....so staying up till 11pm is not really helping my convalescence....

So good night to you all, and stay tuned for more!